Enough is Enough

Starting today’s blog with a random fact about me: I have never been enough. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to win in this department. I color my hair, I wear the latest styles, I drive a nice car. I am nice to people I run into, I laugh to make people happy, I encourage others to see them light up. Fun Fact: this will never make anyone have joy. I will never be enough.

I have struggled with this my entire life. I am, by nature, a people pleaser. I like to see people happy, especially those I love and care for. Yet they don’t like the way I chew, or talk. They don’t like my annoying habits. They see someone prettier or someone who can make them happier. I feel like I am constantly being hurt by how others feel about me. So if others can’t be content in me, who can I be content in?

One thing is for sure, the culture doesn’t help us out. But does this culture really know what we need? Because it’s obvious that it hasn’t stopped at food, it hasn’t stopped at clothes, it hasn’t stopped at who is prettier, and it hasn’t stopped at having a place to sleep. So why do we let the culture tell us what we need, when we have a God who has an unlimited supply of resources, who takes care of the flowers and the birds, who promised to never leave us or forsake us? Don’t let the culture confuse you, don’t let the culture trick you into thinking you NEED more. As Christians, our needs are supposed to exceed our wants, not the other way around. So we need to be content with what we have. Be content with having what we need. Paul understood this. When Paul said, “Not that I speak from want,” he’s saying, “I already have everything that I need, I trust God to take care of my needs.”

In a world that will consistently show me I am never ENOUGH. Christ came to die on a cross in a shameful death to show me that I am ENOUGH for Him. And that is ENOUGH for me.

  • It was God’s grace that made me realize that I was so drawn to the things of this world that I could not be content in Christ alone.
  • It was God’s grace that made me grieve over the sinful state of my soul.
  • It was God’s grace that made me hunger to have a heart that was truly grateful.
  • It was God’s grace that made his word come alive to me as I struggled.
  • It was God’s grace that motivated me to cry out to Him for help.

AND

It was God’s grace that touched me and changed me so that I could be content in Christ alone.

Philippians 4:13 is a verse used by many people, especially athletes. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Sounds pretty and delightful, but lets take it back. Check out what comes before that..  “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Sure, we can do ALL things, anything through Him.. but I think its saying more. Paul had seen all this world had to throw his way, good &  bad.. but he knew the only CONTENTMENT he could find was through Christ.

Several years ago Esther K. Rusthoi wrote a song with these words, “It will be worth it all when we see Jesus.” I think she was right. Whatever hardship, suffering, and grief we are called to experience in this life, someday it will be worth it all. Until then we struggle. Sometimes we struggle with great energy and enthusiasm. Sometimes we struggle weakly at the threshold of defeat. But whatever happens, may this be our enduring source of contentment, that Christ alone is enough. And may his sustaining power keep us, even as he has promised.

Christian contentment remains a mystery to those on the outside and can only be learned from the inside by those who are in Christ. In truth contentment is a quiet secret known by a few. Paul learned it over a period of time, part of his spiritual growth. How do we learn the secret of contentment, are we content, right now? Can I say that I’m content in any circumstance? That I’m completely satisfied in any situation? The secret to contentment is only available to Christians who have a sovereign God who is ahead of everything, because when you look at the rest of the world, they are always wanting more, needing more. You have to believe that God is in control of everything, and that everything is for His own Holy purpose. Romans 8:28 Says “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Everything is controlled by a sovereign God who makes all things work together for good. Do we believe that? That we can find contentment in the God who holds everything together?

Horatio Spafford was a well known lawyer. He was a devout Christian that had to face one of the greatest tragedies this world has to offer, the death of his children. Yes, not child, children. He lost his son, and a few years later lost the rest of his children, 4 daughters to a shipwreck. This man was a man who knew that this world had nothing to offer him. He faced the greatest heartache a person could face, 5 times over, and then sat down and wrote this well known hymn:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

                        It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Life can have a way of never making us feel good enough. Of never letting us be content, of giving us constant heartache. But even so, it is well, with my soul.

“Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.  “Blessed are you when men hate you, and ostracize you, and insult you, and scorn your name as evil, for the sake of the Son of Man.  “Be glad in that day and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven.” Luke 6:21-23

 

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Imprisoned until death.

I’ve always thought that the Christian life held such amazing blessings, as it does. I can also tell you that I have felt a pain and betrayal, which doesn’t quite add up, right?  Here is an opportunity to speak openly about our Christian walk, exposed in the rarest form; truth. To be truthful, looking back at 2012 was hard. I was betrayed, hurt, pushed beyond what I thought imaginable.

So one question I always ask myself is when life throws me curve balls, which it often does, is God enough?

Which brings me to the heroic story of John the Baptist. The importance of John in the divine scheme of things is summed up best by the testimony of Jesus himself “among them that are born of women, there has not arisen a greater than John the Baptist…” Matthew 11:11.  I’d say that is baller status. The greatest of any MAN? This clearly shows how important John was to Jesus. Numbers 6:1-21 even stated the way that John would pave for the Redeemer.

He was not social, coming eating locust and wild honey (Matthew 3:4) wearing camel skin. He wasn’t a party-goer or a trendsetter. He didn’t seek attention, but somehow, he attracted multitudes. His success was solely on the mission in which he proclaimed. He performed no signs yet the POWER of HIS preaching was ENOUGH.

Johns mission was to prepare the way for the Messiah. Thats a pretty big role. So to sum it up, he was kind of a big deal.

John lived a simple life. NO home. NO possessions. NO clothes, except what he had made. He ate of bugs and wild honey. He looked and smelled homeless (because He was) but why when anointed by God himself? John lived this way in order to show that nothing else mattered but testifying HIS name to the nations.

Here is a man who literally had nothing in life but his mission for Christ. Called and anointed by God.

Which leads me to the point in all of this. The end of Johns life. Which he spent in the time of a jail cell, a dungeon, imprisoned. I often wonder if John was just waiting for Jesus to come rescue Him. In Isaiah 42:7 speaking of Jesus servants says “to open eyes that are blind, to FREE CAPTIVES FROM PRISON and to RELEASE from the dungeon those who sit in darkness” well, there it is.. He would come and rescue John the Baptist. John even sends out messengers in Luke 7:18-24 making sure that Jesus was the messiah, waiting to come and be released.

Yet Jesus had a different plan. John wasn’t saved. He was decapitated by a drunken Herod. Literally wasted away the end of his days in a dungeon until his head was cut off.

Wait. What. And this Christian life is supposed to be appealing?

John worked his entire life to pave the way for the Savior of the world only to be persecuted and killed? Yet despise our popular belief, isn’t that the ultimate victory?

Jesus didn’t exercise the divine power that John had anticipated. But He kept His promise; He “set the captive free from captivity” This world isn’t for us. This world is our “prison” we are captured by this sin, the consistent struggle of trying to fit in or be good enough to the worlds standards.

We have to remember when eternity comes to be our reality, our HOPE in God is enough. There was no “fairy tale ending” for John, yet his HOPE in Christ was all he needed.

This world is not our home. His promise to “set the captive free” can be our reality through His death and resurrection, through our earthly death into our heavenly home.

So although 2012 seemed like it could not get any worse for me, I have been set FREE. This world has nothing for me. Like John, my freedom will come through death and into my home with my Abba, my Father.

Until then.. let the battle continue.

 

 

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31: Proverbs & Job. Be one, be with the other.

I feel like the same conversation has come up with a few friends the past week.

Relationships.

I have quite a past with relationships. Those of you who know me, know my story and those of you who don’t I would be more than happy to share with you (e-mail me: bethjones15@gmail.com) because I believe that we go through the things that we do for multiple reasons. Two of the biggest is:

  1. To take us away from the distractions of the world and to help us focus on HIM.
  2. And to realize that nothing in this world will ever be able to satisfy us besides the love of Jesus Christ.

So I will happily share the sufferings of this life.

I am at the moment content in singleness. Sometimes. I will admit there are nights I lay in my bed along and wonder when Christ will bring Him in my life, or maybe if I already have met him being as I have some pretty amazing people in my life right now.

First I need to make sure I know who I am in Christ. I truly don’t believe we can know love with another person if we aren’t madly in love with our Father.  “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8. How can we know love if we don’t know God because God is love. This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. There was a time in my life I tried to love outside of the love of Christ. Which in no way makes sense.

1 Corinthians 13 describes the characteristics of love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres Love never fails.”

My pastor one Sunday wanted us to replace the word “love” with your name. Go through the list and see how well it adds up. Now replace with word “love” with “God” Makes a lot more sense, doesn’t it? Hence, outside of Christ, we cannot truly understand love.

Another way I need to prepare myself is being called to be a Proverbs 31 woman. A woman who cares for her husband and family. Who is unabashedly unashamed of her life for Christ and her husband, the head of her house. A woman who loves without condition. A woman of noble character. A woman who fears the Lord and allows her husband to pursue her and who realizes her worth. A woman who is designed as Christ has designed her and gives glory to Him in all that she does, through action, not just words. I have to be patient in Christ while He works in who I am to be as I do my part in becoming this woman.

I also want the man who intends on pursuing me to see a woman that he wants his daughter to grow up to be like. Would he want his daughter to act, walk and talk like me? To carry herself in a way that will make men appreciate her. As same goes for a man. Will I want my son to be a man who is like the one I am with? To treat women with respect and become a man after Christ own heart. If I can’t talk about my relationship with Christ and my faith with the person I am dating then who is going to teach my son/daughter about Christ and His love? The most important thing in my children’s life is their salvation, which I pray for on a daily basis, even if they aren’t born, so I fully intend to find a man who makes sure they are getting fed not only every Sunday when we take them to church, but on a daily basis inside of our home through words & actions.

Secondly, I need to refuse to settle. Christ came to this earth from His home at the right hand of God. Master. Ruler. Director. He left that place of beauty and perfection to become the lowliest of lows. A mere servant. To be bore in a dirty manager. To wash feet of not only those who loved Him, but notice that when He washed His disciples feet, He didn’t skip over Judas. He came to be mocked and ridiculed. To be beaten and crushed. To hang on a cross to suffer one of the greatest punishments through death.

If He did all of that because I am worthy to Him. I suspect He would like me to wait for someone who is worthy of me.

Bold? Maybe. But don’t get me wrong, I am in NO WAY better than any other girl. I think that as daughters of Christ we all deserve the best He has for us. The problem is the world that has skewed this misconception. Often times I wonder to myself “when did men stop being men” when did the courage, responsibility and leadership stop? How about this.. Maybe when ladies stopped being ladies. We live in the days of Victoria Secret and Maxims. It isn’t that woman are being portrayed as sexual objects but they have become them. Not because guys “use” these women, but because they are ALLOWING that to happen. I can’t write this and pretend I am not guilty of it. I find myself thinking “if I just showed more skin or make myself more sexually attractive then maybe he will notice me” This world of woman is a competition. There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, someone smarter, wiser, wittier, more compassionate, more athletic, funnier, easier. We have made it socially acceptable for men to keep looking for that until they think they have the best, or at least until the next best comes along. So in order to keep on top of all that we are in the constant competition of trying to be someone we are not. Wearing more makeup or enhancing our looks. Putting others down because we think it would make us look better in areas someone else may lack. So when does this vicious cycle end? At the end of the day no one will ever be good enough with that mindset. There is always “bigger and better” according to the world’s standards, no matter who you are or how you look.

That is why I am looking for a Job 31 man.

  • A man that does not want to look lustfully at young woman (Job 31:1)
  • Who doesn’t want to do wrong (31:3)
  • Who will take responsibility for his actions (3:8)
  • Who doesn’t want to be enticed by another woman (31:9-10)
  • Who is courageous and just (31:14)
  • Who is compassionate (31:16-17)
  • Who fears the Lord (31:23)
  • Who doesn’t need materialist worth (31:24-28)

I want a Job 31 man. Who sees the worth of His wife and loves her unconditionally. Not because she is physically beautiful (which fades) But because she respects herself. Because she knows her worth in Christ. Because she will spend her years respecting her husband with love and support. I want a man who pursues me daily. A man who loves Christ more than he could every possibly love me so that I can see Him shining through Him.

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Two Sides: World vs. Word

This is how I spend my Saturday night. Most of you think I am a huge nerd for staying home & hanging with God.. and that’s ok I probably am.. and if I were to be honest with you sometimes I miss the days of going to the bar and seeing how many phone numbers I could get (yes, I have been there, multiple times) but as much as I sometimes miss those days of carefree freedom, it is by Christ’s strength I can feel secure enough, content enough to stay in.. To hang with God, instead of aching for mans attention I can relentlessly pursue my Savior.  Which brings me to the topic for tonight, my constant failures. My sins I try and “hide”, the pursuit of the flawless Christian life.

Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try to be the “perfect Christian” I find myself unable to even look at my self in the mirror. How do I keep stumbling when I have been changed by the blood of Christ? How do I let the world keep tripping me up in this illusion that it & the things in it will ever be enough?

Sin wont ever quit me, I have to try and quit it. It doesn’t mean I won’t fail, every day to try and rid myself of the filth. It simply means I try.

Just because sins claim over my life has been broken, doesn’t mean I wont struggle, it does mean we have more power to keep from giving into it. I have the Holy Spirit within to resist advances and live strong. We must choose every day. Every moment.

Paul speaks of knowing what is right but the evil desires win out over his good intentions. The spirit and flesh are at war with one each other. But there is HOPE! We can depend on the justification at the cross.

Grace also doesn’t give us a “hall pass” If increasing sin means increasing grace, why worry about sin?

  1. Sin destroys the moral fabric of our lives.
  2. Sin violates God’s purpose for us. He calls us for something infinitely better.
  3. Sinning with the intention of asking for forgiveness drains all sincerity out of repentance, it insults the price paid for sin.

On the cross, Jesus overcame. H broke the power of death (Hebrews 2:14) He taught His disciples that they would have to lose their lives to really live (Luke 9:24) that they could only be great by becoming servants (Mark 10:43-44) and that the way to be exalted, is to be humbled (Matthew 23:12) Such ideas seem to be contradictions but we win because of Jesus.

There is no justification in our sin. Sin was brought in by man and had to be taken away by man. At the cross, He fulfilled all that righteousness demanded. He was given in exchange for us. His blood for the price of our justification.

God has done everything to justify us through the sacrifice of His son and the only thing we need is faith and to receive the grace shown on the cross. We need to stop trying to justify ourselves and depend on the finished work of Jesus Christ.

This is why at times I try to stay and be good, I find myself out craving worldly things. Things that will never satisfy my soul. Things that no matter how hard I try to be good enough for, I never will. Sin is justified through the cross, but our love for the one who put himself there for us should overcome any temptation of the world.

There are two sides The world and the word. There are continuous battles going on DAILY between the two. I may win some, and I may lose some. But in the end I have victory at the foot of the cross.

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Help me lose control

So my pastor had this story I must share. He was training to be a lifeguard and one day while by the pool he saw a man struggling.. He looked to his trainer and the lifeguard was just watching intently. My pastor asked if they were going in after him, the trainer said to just wait. My pastor started getting uneasy. Finally the man gave up the struggle & then the lifeguard went in after him, pulled him in and the man struggling was fine. My pastor asked the trainer why he waited so long, the lifeguard said that if he would have gone in while the man still had control then the man struggling would have fought the lifeguard in a helpless frenzy. It was only until the man had given up that he could be saved.

For so long I have been scared of giving control over to God. But why? When every time I try and do it my way I make such a mess. Here are some reasons.. I really don’t believe that His plans are better than mine. Wow.. that’s hard even typing let alone admitting it outloud. So often I think, He doesn’t have time to worry about my petty little life. If that were the actual, then why am I even here? He has a specific plan in mind and how do I think I can improve that? Everyone knows Jeremiah 29:11 but it only seems fitting here. “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord,’ plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That is DECLARED BY THE LORD. He wants us to know its not just plan, its good plans. We will only see them take place when we get out of the way & submit to Him.

Another reason I have been scared is that He will require things of me that I just simply do not want to do. First of all, that is completelyopposite of what scripture says. Check it out “”Delight yourself inthe Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4) that is straight from scripture. He doesn’t want to make us miserable. He wants to give us our desires through His will. I don’t think that this means life is suppose to be “comfortable” as Christians either. No pain, no gain, as it says in Romans 8:16-17, “And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.” The Bible never gives us any such expectation. Rather the reverse: the Bible says again and again, no cross, no crown; no rules, no wreath; no pains, no gains. It is this principle of which took Christ through lowly birth and suffering death, to his resurrection and his reign in heaven. It is this principle that brought Paul his chains, and his prison cell, in order that the elect might obtain salvation in Jesus Christ. It is this principle of which makes the soldier willing to endure hardship, the athlete discipline, the farmer toil. (Oops, wrong soapbox)

I think the first step we must take is to realize this life isn’t ours. “Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) We aren’t our own. We would be nothing without Him. Who are we to think that after He created us, we just suddenly took over?

This might be bold but I’ll say it. There is absolutely nothing that has happened, is happening, or will happen to you that God cannot handle. God wants to be first. In control of all. Not here & there, but all. Let him carry the burden for you. I promise, He is stronger than you are.

Lose control. 

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Forgiveness begins at the Tree

So I often wonder, “Why would the Lord even put the tree in the garden?” The Scripture doesn’t explicitly say this, but let me tell you why I think it’s there. I think the tree is in the garden and a simple rule is given to teach man the delight of humbling themselves before the Lord and walking in obedience. What could possibly be taken from Adam and Eve by, “Don’t eat the fruit off of this tree, but all the other fruit on all the other trees is yours”? This whole beautiful picture is about to go off the rails.

Genesis 3:1 “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, ‘Did God actually say, “You shall not eat of any tree in the garden”?’

Translation: “It’s no big deal.” Verse 5. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Do you hear the lie? What’s the lie? The lie is, ultimately, “God is withholding from you a joy he doesn’t want you to have. God is withholding from you an experience that’s going to be the fulfillment of that longing in you, and he’s actually robbing you from something you’re entitled to so I have to take matters into my own hands.

 Let’s see how our girl, Eve, responds to this. Verse 6. “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate…” Men, this next line is for you. “…and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” The Bible, from here on out, will attribute the fallenness of mankind and the universe back to this act of passivity on this man’s part.

The Bible does not blame Eve for the fall. It blames Adam, because God had given to Adam care over Eve, for his wife, to love her. This boy who can shave is standing there while his wife is being lied to, while destruction is being laid out on all that is dear, and he does nothing. The sin of man, to this day, is predominately, in the spiritual arena, his passivity, his refusal to engage his wife, and his family, and thechurch of Jesus Christ like he has been commanded to.

Now don’t swing that into chest beating, “Do what I say. You better behave. I got this,” because that’s just as sinful. If you want to know the line, it’s found in Ephesians 5. Love your wife like Christ loved the church in that he loved her and gave himself up for her. How are you an un-passive, godly man? You lay down your life. You faithfully and patiently serve your wife day in and day out and allow your unmovable love for her serve as instruction. That was for free. It’s not even the topic.

We were never made to sin.. Yet we did. This immortality began at the tree. The only way we can be forgiven is through the Cross. 

You are saved by God, through God. He owns it all, so you have nothing to boast in. You get to boast in nothing. You have no grounds on which to boast in anything. A gift has been given to you, and that gift is unmerited favor. That unmerited favor reveals the glory of God in saving you despite you. You have a gift you didn’t earn, a favor that was not merited by your behavior, and by God saving you despite you, God is glorified.

 I really begin to see and believe God has not only forgiven me, but he delights in me, he’s going to empower me, he loves me, and he has joy in me, and I begin to feel that, and my heart actually begins to churn up something. 

So I am done with the fig leaves, I don’t want to be hiding, and I don’t want to be doubting and fighting against a God leading me to the fullness of possible joy. But the gospel must be relentlessly preached to ourselves if we’re not going to drift into one of these two errors. We must constantly remind ourselves of the gospel. We must constantly remind ourselves of God’s delight and God’s forgiveness.

WE needed forgiveness starting at the tree in the garden. He brought us forgiveness through the tree carved out in the cross. 

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Oh Great God give us rest!!

I personally feel like I always deal with being restless. I never have enough peace in tomorrow and worry about things that are to come. I worry about pointless things, critical things but at the end of the day.. that exact thing.. things.

But honestly “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” (Matt. 6:27-29)

And aren’t these just things.. “The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” (1 John 2:17)

And we should “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

But all these things are so much easier said than done for me. I struggle with control. Or lack thereof. Yet isn’t our foundation in Christ alone?

So where do I find this rest?

Check this out:

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:24

This passage was always so confusing to me.. Until I understood the meaning. The eye of a needle, was a small fixed door in a gate that opened after dark, in order for the camel to crawl through it, all of its possessions had to have been taken off to get through the tiny door.

WOW.

Maybe it doesn’t seem like a big deal when you first read that but think about it. Christ tells us to “Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Luke 18:22) Again in Mark, he told Simon and Andrew “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men. And immediately they left their nets and followed him.” (Mark 1:16-18)

The only thing we must do is unload all of our posessions, the things of the world that our weighing us down, the control, the views of the world and lay them down, at the feet of Jesus.

 And at the foot of the Cross, there is Rest.

Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.” Psalm 62:1

 

Lord, let me let go of everything that hinders me from you and ease my unsettled heart.

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