I feel like the same conversation has come up with a few friends the past week.
I have quite a past with relationships. Those of you who know me, know my story and those of you who don’t I would be more than happy to share with you (e-mail me: firstname.lastname@example.org) because I believe that we go through the things that we do for multiple reasons. Two of the biggest is:
- To take us away from the distractions of the world and to help us focus on HIM.
- And to realize that nothing in this world will ever be able to satisfy us besides the love of Jesus Christ.
So I will happily share the sufferings of this life.
I am at the moment content in singleness. Sometimes. I will admit there are nights I lay in my bed along and wonder when Christ will bring Him in my life, or maybe if I already have met him being as I have some pretty amazing people in my life right now.
First I need to make sure I know who I am in Christ. I truly don’t believe we can know love with another person if we aren’t madly in love with our Father. “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:8. How can we know love if we don’t know God because God is love. This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. There was a time in my life I tried to love outside of the love of Christ. Which in no way makes sense.
1 Corinthians 13 describes the characteristics of love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres Love never fails.”
My pastor one Sunday wanted us to replace the word “love” with your name. Go through the list and see how well it adds up. Now replace with word “love” with “God” Makes a lot more sense, doesn’t it? Hence, outside of Christ, we cannot truly understand love.
Another way I need to prepare myself is being called to be a Proverbs 31 woman. A woman who cares for her husband and family. Who is unabashedly unashamed of her life for Christ and her husband, the head of her house. A woman who loves without condition. A woman of noble character. A woman who fears the Lord and allows her husband to pursue her and who realizes her worth. A woman who is designed as Christ has designed her and gives glory to Him in all that she does, through action, not just words. I have to be patient in Christ while He works in who I am to be as I do my part in becoming this woman.
I also want the man who intends on pursuing me to see a woman that he wants his daughter to grow up to be like. Would he want his daughter to act, walk and talk like me? To carry herself in a way that will make men appreciate her. As same goes for a man. Will I want my son to be a man who is like the one I am with? To treat women with respect and become a man after Christ own heart. If I can’t talk about my relationship with Christ and my faith with the person I am dating then who is going to teach my son/daughter about Christ and His love? The most important thing in my children’s life is their salvation, which I pray for on a daily basis, even if they aren’t born, so I fully intend to find a man who makes sure they are getting fed not only every Sunday when we take them to church, but on a daily basis inside of our home through words & actions.
Secondly, I need to refuse to settle. Christ came to this earth from His home at the right hand of God. Master. Ruler. Director. He left that place of beauty and perfection to become the lowliest of lows. A mere servant. To be bore in a dirty manager. To wash feet of not only those who loved Him, but notice that when He washed His disciples feet, He didn’t skip over Judas. He came to be mocked and ridiculed. To be beaten and crushed. To hang on a cross to suffer one of the greatest punishments through death.
If He did all of that because I am worthy to Him. I suspect He would like me to wait for someone who is worthy of me.
Bold? Maybe. But don’t get me wrong, I am in NO WAY better than any other girl. I think that as daughters of Christ we all deserve the best He has for us. The problem is the world that has skewed this misconception. Often times I wonder to myself “when did men stop being men” when did the courage, responsibility and leadership stop? How about this.. Maybe when ladies stopped being ladies. We live in the days of Victoria Secret and Maxims. It isn’t that woman are being portrayed as sexual objects but they have become them. Not because guys “use” these women, but because they are ALLOWING that to happen. I can’t write this and pretend I am not guilty of it. I find myself thinking “if I just showed more skin or make myself more sexually attractive then maybe he will notice me” This world of woman is a competition. There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, someone smarter, wiser, wittier, more compassionate, more athletic, funnier, easier. We have made it socially acceptable for men to keep looking for that until they think they have the best, or at least until the next best comes along. So in order to keep on top of all that we are in the constant competition of trying to be someone we are not. Wearing more makeup or enhancing our looks. Putting others down because we think it would make us look better in areas someone else may lack. So when does this vicious cycle end? At the end of the day no one will ever be good enough with that mindset. There is always “bigger and better” according to the world’s standards, no matter who you are or how you look.
That is why I am looking for a Job 31 man.
- A man that does not want to look lustfully at young woman (Job 31:1)
- Who doesn’t want to do wrong (31:3)
- Who will take responsibility for his actions (3:8)
- Who doesn’t want to be enticed by another woman (31:9-10)
- Who is courageous and just (31:14)
- Who is compassionate (31:16-17)
- Who fears the Lord (31:23)
- Who doesn’t need materialist worth (31:24-28)
I want a Job 31 man. Who sees the worth of His wife and loves her unconditionally. Not because she is physically beautiful (which fades) But because she respects herself. Because she knows her worth in Christ. Because she will spend her years respecting her husband with love and support. I want a man who pursues me daily. A man who loves Christ more than he could every possibly love me so that I can see Him shining through Him.